


Not Just Instincts

by Skyyynn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, I Tried, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23106214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyyynn/pseuds/Skyyynn
Summary: Tsukishima and Kuroo are a pair of alphas that gave each other a chance. It won't be easy, but love conquers all, or does it?
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 9
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried sticking to the traditional 'alpha' standards but it went out of hand. I feel like I made Tsukki too much of an omega... help

Tsukishima remembered the heat. The unbearable need, the lust of another. He had presented as an alpha earlier than most of his class. At a tender age of 12, he had started wearing scent patches. By the age of 13, he had started taking suppressants.

His parents did not know why he insisted on taking them, most alphas take their secondary gender in stride and paraded their scents around. Marking territory and protecting possessions. This was the instinct of an alpha.

He never wanted to submit to his instincts. He never wanted to be an alpha. He would have been fine with being a beta, like the majority of the population. He hated being an alpha. His brother had told him that there will come a time when his instincts kick in, his mind would be filled with this one person and the will to protect will be ever-present, dominating his every thought. He scoffed at that idea. He did his best to reject his gender.

He came to hate it a little bit less when he met Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo was an alpha as well. Strange as it might be, Tsukishima fell for him. Both of them alphas, both of them supposed to be dominant in the relationship.

He did not know how it happened, but by the time he realised, he was in too deep. It might have been since the first time they met, in his first year of high school. They played the same sport and met in a practice match.

Tsukishima thought that Kuroo was just plain irritating, but that just made him more interested. During the training camp, he got to know Kuroo further. Even though he was annoying and always provoked him, Tsukishima allowed it. Tsukishima took it and submitted to the third year. He realised at that point, he was in too deep.

His thoughts were filled with the alpha and nothing he did could rid him of those thoughts. He decided to embrace it and confront it head-on. In reality, he did not decide, instincts took hold of him for a slight moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Tsukishima took an early train to meet Kuroo in Tokyo for the weekend. The elder had invited him to his house and to show him around the city. After their training camp, they had grown closer, they texted each other randomly during the week. Awkward and random conversations in the middle of the night just sort of happened. Time flew by quick and Tsukishima started to open up more when Kuroo had asked him.

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **Hey, want to meet up this weekend? It's the holidays ^.^**

**Tsukishima Kei:  
** **I'm 3 hours away.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **I know. But wouldn't it be fun? I'll show you around. You can stay at my house.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **If you're worried about not having enough money, I can pay for everything we do while you're here. You just have to buy the tickets to come.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **If you want to. I'm not forcing you. It's still your choice**

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **I'm rambling. Sorry.**

**Tsukishima Kei:  
** **Well well, Kuroo-san, it would seem like you're asking me out on a date.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou:  
** **Does it seem that way? Is it all right? If you want it to be a date, I would like that. If you don't then, it doesn't have to be.**

**Tsukishima Kei:  
** **Ok. I'll ask my mother.**

* * *

Kuroo had been waiting at the station for Kei's train for over an hour. He had less than two days with Tsukishima and he wanted to make sure he made full use of it. He did not want to be late. Being overly excited, he had miscalculated the arrival times and his travel time, so he had to kill that hour somewhere nearby.

Sitting on a bench using his phone, he was texting Kenma all about it. He was nervous. He did not want to mess up. Without anyone else around, he could be a bit of a dork and slip up. It was a date. With Tsukki.

Kuroo felt like the happiest man in the world. He had gotten used to the blonde over the training camp and enjoyed being with him. It took him some time to admit that he may have feelings for the other. He even had Kenma try to talk him into asking him out. Kenma just had enough of him pinning.

Kuroo, stuck in his own head, did not realise a group of girls staring at him. He had given them a smile, hoping that they would go away. When they didn't, he looked away and continued looking at his phone.

One of the girls had come up to him, leaving her friends looking at them from a distance.

Kuroo was wearing a scent patch on his gland on his neck but his wrists and thighs were still bare. The pheromones that were released from those glands were weaker than the one on his neck, but everyone could be able to tell that he was an alpha.

"Hello. I saw you looking over, I was wondering if we could talk." The girl had started the conversation.

Kuroo looked at the time, he still had around ten minutes until Tsukishima's train was due to arrive. He did not see the harm in spending some time chatting. He could calm the nerves he felt.

Giving a smile, "Sure, so what are you up to today?"

The girl, obviously happy that he seemed interested in her, "My friends and I were just on the way to watch a movie."

"Oh? which movie?" Kuroo could get some pointers for his date.

"The one about an omega and an alpha who were separated, but the alpha did not give up on them."

It was a chick-flick. It was popular with most of the girls in his class and had been talked about non-stop for the past few weeks. Kuroo thought that the hype would have died down by now, seeing that the plot was subpar and cliche as heck. Apparently, that's what adolescent girls like. He didn't think Tsukishima would like those kinds of shows, but he put it in the back of his mind, just in case.

They continued to talk about movies, Kuroo trying his best to update his plans for his date.

He did not realise that the train would have arrived until his arm was grabbed by a tall blonde and dragged away from the girl. The grip on his arm was strong, he did not bother to struggle or try to get out of it. He let himself be taken further from the group of girls.

Tsukishima turned into an alley and slammed him to the wall. His eyes were dark, his eyebrows furrowed. Being completely honest, Kuroo was seriously turned on.

"Kuroo-san."

Tsukshima's tone had shivers running down his spine. He couldn't will himself to answer.

"She was flirting with you. She was putting herself all over you." Oh. Those were the eyes of jealousy.

"Tsukki. Are you mad?"

"No."

Kuroo let out a breath. Trying to keep calm. His alpha was being hyper-aware of the situation. He was being pinned, forced to submit, and he didn't like it. Kuroo growled, flipping them over.

"So what."

Kuroo was provoking Tsukishima. He knew it. Tsukishima fell right into his trap. Only, he didn't fall.

Kuroo stared right into Tsukshima's eyes, right into his soul. Both alphas seem to challenge each other. Tsukishima fell first, his head tilting in submission, breaking eye contact and looking down to the ground.

Kuroo brought his nose to Tsukishima's neck and started scenting him. With the patches and suppressants Tsukishima was on, he could barely smell him. His alpha decided that if Tsukishima had no smell, he would plaster his all over.

Tsukishima was still submitted to him, he was able to do anything he wanted to Tsukishima. His Tsukki.

A loud horn snapped them both out of their haze. Kuroo jumped back to the other wall.

"S-Sorry. I didn't mean to lose control like that."

"No. I lost control first. I didn't know I still could." Tsukishima admitted.

"What do you mean by that? Ah. If you don't want to tell me it's fine. I scented you forcefully, I made you submit. I hope you're not mad."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not! I could have-"

"It's fine if it's you." Tsukishima had gone red, his eyes couldn't meet Kuroo's.

"Oh... We kind of have the order wrong, but I guess now is a good time as ever" Kuroo took a breath, "I like you Tsukki. Would you go out with me?"

Tsukishima didn't answer right away, which made Kuroo panic. Tsukishima took a step towards him and pecked his lips.

"Of course you dork."

Kuroo hugged Tsukishima tight as he went for another kiss. He nibbled at Tsukishima's lower lip for permission to go further but was rejected as he pulled away.

Tsukishima brought a pale hand to his face to hide the red that was creeping up, "I don't really know what to do. That was my first kiss. Or first two kisses."

Kuroo felt his blood rush to down lower as he looked at Tsukishima's flushed face. He laughed and just hugged him tighter.

"Let's get this date started shall we?" Kuroo said as he pulled Tsukishima along to the shops that he had planned for the day.

* * *

The first was a small family restaurant that Kuroo frequents, usually with the Nekoma team after practice.

After the confession, the atmosphere around them turned awkward. They both stayed in the silence, walking just far enough so that their hands would not touch. Kuroo had tried to bring up a conversation, pointing out different sights in the busy Tokyo streets. Tsukishima seemed content just listening and not contributing.

Tsukishima's mind was going miles per minute, trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation. He knew that Kuroo had asked him out on a date by inviting him over, but it didn't process in his head that this was actually happening. Kuroo had just asked him out officially. What were they now? Boyfriends? Or is this just the trial period to see if they hit it off?

He had to pause his worrying as they reached the restaurant and sat down. Kuroo sat opposite of him and had his eyes glued to Tsukishima. Like during matches, Tsukishima could feel Kuroo analysing the situation and focusing on body language. His eyes stared right into his core, sending chills right to his fingertips. He tried his best to look anywhere but directly into those piercing orbs.

"Tsukki."

Tsukishima had snapped out of his reverie, eyes focusing on the alpha in front of him.

"Is this too weird? This can just be as friends if you feel more comfortable."

Weird? Weird. Yes, it's weird. They were both alphas. Alpha relationships weren't too common. What would people say about them? They weren't even female and male. They were both males. 

"It's weird."

Kuroo looked downcast as he brought his attention to his clenched hands on the table, "Of course, it is right? So it's fine. We can just forget about it, we don't have to do anything about it right?"

Kuroo smiled, trying to ignore the sharp pain that shot through his chest.

"It's weird. But I think it's fine to be weird."

Tears swelled in Kuroo's eyes as he felt the relief of tension on his shoulders. Tsukishima had accepted him.

"Just to be clear, Kuroo-san, are we dating? Are we ... boyfriends?" Tsukishima asked in a small voice, clearly still unsure about the whole ordeal.

"Of course. I had every plan to start courting you right away. I really felt that connection between us during training camp, I've never felt like this before so I just knew. Kenma said I move too fast and I don't want to mess things up with us so he suggested I follow the pace you set. So if you don't feel comfortable with anything, please tell me and I'll stop right away. I don't want to be the overbearing alpha that stops you from doing anything. I know you aren't an omega, you're alpha like me, so I should be able to understand the instincts as well. I'm rambling again, aren't I? I'm just really nervous and I don't want to come off as some douchebag or something."

Kuroo got cut off in his rant as Tsukishima let out a small chuckle, "Don't worry Kuroo-san, you're doing great so far."

The taunting sarcasm clear in his voice. Tsukishima was amused by how out of character Kuroo was. Maybe this was what his brother had talked about. Maybe this was what it meant to like someone.

Kuroo's face turned pale, hoping that he had not said anything wrong, he looked to Tsukishima for a sign he wasn't going to leave.

"Aren't we going to eat Kuroo-san? I'm famished."

Kuroo physically brightened and started talking normally again, telling Tsukishima about the different menu items and stories behind them.

He could do it. He was going to put everything into this relationship. He knew it was the one. He could imagine his entire future surrounding the alpha in front of him. It was going to be a tough fight for sure, but for Tsukishima, Kuroo could do it.

After lunch, Kuroo had thought of doing things that normal couples did. He had asked his team for their opinions and most were useless. They gave him the basics, having a meal, doing some activities, like watching a movie and playing in an arcade, and going for a walk.

They did all of it. Tsukishima did not seem keen on playing any of the games at the arcade and expressed his annoyance at the things Kuroo pointed out. This did not stop Kuroo though. He persisted and Tsukishima went along with it.

At least that was a sign he didn't totally hate it.

When they reached back to Kuroo's house, it was late. Both of Kuroo's parents were waiting for them, sitting on the couch watching some television.

"I'm home."

Both parents were up in a flash and came to greet them by the entrance. Tsukishima introduced himself as Kuroo looked at them, making a thumbs-up sign and a grin on his face. His parents congratulated both of them and asked borderline prying questions about what happened and their plans for the future. It was unusual but not unwelcome.

Kuroo took a look at Tsukishima and excused them to the room, seeing his boyfriend's tired eyes under his inexpressive face. Relieved, they made their way away from the energetic couple.

Behind the closed door of Kuroo's room, Tsukishima let himself relax and took a seat on the floor by the bed.

"You can sit on the bed you know."

"I'm dirty. We've been out the whole day."

"I don't mind. It's Tsukki after all." Kuroo took a seat beside him, snuggling closer.

"Gross."

They sat in silence for a while, Tsukishima's head tilted to rest on the crook of Kuroo's neck. He let Kuroo's strong scent lure him to rest. Calming as it may be, he had to tell Kuroo someday, he should come right out to say it, before he gets in too deep.

"Kuroo-san. I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Kuroo rubbed his scent gland over Tsukishima's head.

"I am an atypical alpha."

"I know."

Tsukishima shot up and looked suspiciously at Kuroo, "How?"

"Well, I had a hunch during the training camps and just now with the girl kind of confirmed it." Waiting for a while, Kuroo made sure Tsukishima wanted him to continue, "When I flipped you over and started dominating, you gave up. Easily. You seemed like you didn't have the fight in you to challenge me as an alpha. You were clearly pissed off, your alpha should have been fighting to protect what you thought was yours, but the struggle didn't happen."

"You're too perceptive for your own good." Tsukishima took a breath of Kuroo scent calming down again, "Well, my alpha can't come out. He's been shut in his cage, since maybe the first year of middle school."

"Well you say can't but getting jealous just now, are you saying that you didn't feel it come out?"

"Yes. I can't feel it. Truth is, I've been taking suppressants for almost the entire time after I presented. I've never had another rut after the first time. I didn't want to. Along the way, my alpha just got shut out. I learned that without my alpha, I don't have instinctual cues for social situations. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I learnt it myself, hoping that I can just pretend to be normal again. Like acting tough, acting submissive, almost everything is an act that I put on for others.

Today, when your alpha took over, it surprised me. I knew you wouldn't hurt me, but somewhere in my mind, it was telling me that the only way to soothe an angry alpha is to submit."

"I wasn't angry."

"No. You weren't at first. But I overstepped my boundaries. I challenged what you were doing, and by extension, I challenged you. From one alpha to another. The look in your eyes looked angry."

"You would have smelt that I was angry." 

"I can't do that either. Since I've taken suppressants so religiously, it had some side effects. The doctor had warned me at first but I was young and didn't really care. Still don't, to be honest. My nose just isn't as sensitive to smells now. Maybe the nerves from the receptors to the part of my brain that handles all the instincts are just damaged. But the fact of the matter is that I can't tell the emotions from the smell. I'd smell it, and that's about it.

I'm wearing scent blockers today, but even my normal scent is weak. You'll probably never feel satisfied with it. Not like an omega can make you feel. I hope that doesn't make you want me less."

Kuroo, who had been quietly listening to Tsukishima talk, sniffed, "It's fine. I like you for you, Tsukki. I don't need an omega if I have you."

"If you ever change your mind, just let me know. I'll let you go."

Kuroo growled at that statement. He hated how Tsukishima talked about himself. Like he was less than what he was. And the nerve of Tsukishima to tell him what he wanted. Wasn't it enough that Kuroo said Tsukishima was all he needed?

"Tsukki. Take off your blockers."

Tsukishima's eyes widened, his hands brought up to his neck to cover his scent patch. He never took them off outside of his home before. Even in his home, he would constantly have it. He was scared. Scared of what would happen if Kuroo decided that he didn't like how it smelled. Scared of what he would smell from his own scent. Maybe he won't smell it at all. Maybe it would be like smelling a whole different person in the room. He didn't want to. He was safe with his patch on. No one needed to know what he smelled like. He didn't need anyone to know he was broken.

"Tsukishima."

The sound of his full name pulled him out of his mind. The scent in the room was overwhelming. Tsukishima felt his legs go putty. If he was standing, he definitely would have fell. Kuroo's eyes had forced him into submission once, and it was doing it again. He gave in.

His scent patches were ripped from his skin, making the skin around it go red. He was petrified, he didn't dare move a muscle.

Kuroo came closer to his neck. His nose brushed the bruised skin lightly. The feel of Kuroo's hot breath on his neck made his hair stand. A deep breath. An exhale.

"You aren't broken. You're atypical. Not broken. Don't tell yourself that you are. You're perfect. Your scent is perfect. I can just get lost in it."

They sat together for what seemed like an eternity. Tsukishima had finally given in to the need to breathe and had relaxed into Kuroo's hold.

Kuroo reluctantly pulled back from the deep scent.

"There is a way for you to get at least some part of your instincts back. If you want it."

"I know."

There was an unspoken question that both of them had considered.

A bonding mark.

Even if Tsukishima couldn't smell scents well. Even if his scent was never going to be as strong as a regular person. A bonding mark would make Tsukishima more sensitive to scents and emotions from his mate. This means that Tsukishima could possibly never react to scents other than his mates' ever again. It was a sign of total trust and love that Tsukishima could not afford to give to anyone.

"I know you probably wouldn't want it in your entire life. Or even dreamed of it. But I have. I've always dreamt of claiming my mate, them being more important to me than my own life. I had every intention of courting you. If you want it, you can tell me. Whenever you feel like it. Be it today, or thirty years from now. I'll wait for you. I've told you. I love you. You're the only one."

Tsukishima took his hand and covered the place where Kuroo's breath touched. He felt hot. Not a bad kind of hot. Embarrassed, a little turned on. Kuroo had a look, his eyes when looking directly into Tsukishima's. Made him feel things he had never felt before him.

Kuroo pulled Tsukishima into a hug, his hands reached up to stroke the blonde hair. A low rumbling caught Tsukishima's attention. The vibrations from Kuroo's chest and the soft sound they made shook him to the core.

"That's what you make my alpha. Even though we're both alphas. My alpha wants you as bad as I do. Don't ever doubt how good you are. You're the best for me."

Somehow, they found it in themselves to move to a more comfortable position on Kuroo's bed. With Tsukishima lying on top of him, still listening to the purrs. They fell asleep, worn out from the excitement from the day.

The rest of the trip was filled with similar activities, lounging around and conversations that ranged from sweet and corny to deep and heartfelt. There was no rush to progress their relationship, they have their entire lives together after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

Their relationship had gone smoothly. With the ever-constant long distance between them, Kuroo moving to live in the dorms of his university did not change anything. They would call each other every day, stay until one of them fell asleep. They would visit each other given the chance. With this, two years passed by in a flash.

As smooth sailing that they progressed, there were times when tensions ran high. Tsukishima's low self-esteem made conversations stressful for both parties and it took a while for Kuroo to figure out the way to get the other to snap out of his slumps.

Tsukishima got jealous easily, not that he would willingly show it. He got jealous of anyone that tried to get closer to Kuroo. Be it alpha instincts or not, those times were far from few. Kuroo had decided to move into an apartment complex instead of a dormitory, it being more convenient for when Tsukishima comes to stay.

The subtle change in the tone of voice and expressions were important changes to determine Tsukishima's moods. With Kuroo's keen senses, he picked up on the changes fast, most of the time able to secure any worry that Tsukishima had before it blew up.

Tsukishima's rut hasn't come since he stopped taking his suppressants, not a totally unexpected side effect of taking them for so long.

Kuroo had a few ruts during the time they were together. They never spent any of it together. Kuroo had insisted that he did not want their first time to occur when he was not aware of what he was doing. He did not want to go into a haze and do something he'd regret. The weeks of rut were torture, only quelled by the scent of Tsukishima's shirts given to him.

Tsukishima was on the verge of graduating high school, with plans of moving in with Kuroo for university. Their parents had given their permissions and everything was great. They talked about officially mating once they've settled down in their own apartment.

He had asked various doctors and other sources for opinions on the matter. Could two alphas even claim each other? Claiming a beta was harder than claiming omegas, would it be the same with alphas?

The doctors confirmed that it would be hard, but not impossible. Usually, alphas would mate with their omegas and bite the scent gland on the back of the neck to claim them. Alphas have the same scent glands but the skin around it was harder than an omegas'. An alpha taking a bonding mark would need more force to break the skin.

It was an alpha's instinct to not let anyone, especially other alphas, have that power over them. However, the doctors had confirmed that when it's done, the bond between them would not be any different from any normal couple. One would naturally take the more submissive role and their bodies would be more attuned to each other and staying together in ruts would be less of a danger.

The doctor also reassured him that after bonding, the mark would warn others not to be too close with his alpha. The feelings of jealousy should weaken.

Tsukishima packed his luggage, preparing for another visit to Kuroo. This time, he would bring more to leave at Kuroo apartment. They had actually gone apartment hunting together when Kuroo brought up the topic of living by himself. With several considerations in mind, one being Tsukishima would come live with him after he graduated, they rented an apartment close to the universities.

They would soon officially live together and that thought scared the hell out of him.

Tsukishima would never in his entire life think he would be living with anyone other than his family, much less his boyfriend and soon-to-be mate.

After getting settled, Kuroo and Tsukishima decided to go for an early dinner. They walked hand in hand, strolling through the busy streets.

To anyone passing by, they were obviously a couple. People stared. Same-sex couples were normal, but seeing two alphas? Well, that's new.

Before they could head into the cafe, they heard a small whimpering coming from the side alley. Curious, they went to investigate, turning into the small passageway.

Kuroo was immediately hit with the scent of an omega in heat. He covered his nose hopefully blocking out the strong smell.

Tsukishima walked closer to the omega. She was not wearing a protective choker or any scent patches. When he reached to tap her shoulder, she flinched and brought her back to the wall. Her whimpers became louder, in hopes of getting help.

"It's all right. Pheromones don't work on me. I'll call an omega hospital."

Tsukishima took out his phone and dialled the number he had saved. His parents always told him that it would come in handy, he was grateful that he hadn't deleted it.

While on the phone with the operator, Tsukishima heard a low growl. Tsukishima looked back to see Kuroo, his eyes blown wide and watching the scene in front of him. Tsukishima felt his heart start beating faster, he had never seen Kuroo exposed to omega pheromones before. He knew that some alphas are more violent than others and he desperately wished Kuroo was not one of those alphas.

Kuroo started to walk closer to the pair. Tsukishima held on to the omega, back facing Kuroo. Hopefully blocking any blows that Kuroo would deal to get to the omega. Kuroo fought against his instincts as hard as he could.

When he reached them, his hand reached for Tsukishima's shoulders and tried to pry him off the omega. His growls came loud and domineering. Tsukishima wanted to submit. He could not win Kuroo in a fight for dominance but he had to hold strong for the omega.

The pheromones were filling up his lungs, a mix of the omega's and Kuroo's. His mind was going numb. He did not know what was happening. He had never felt anything like it before. Pheromones have no effect on him, or so he thought. Was it the adrenaline? His body was saying to flee but his mind is saying to stay and fight. But fighting Kuroo was against every fibre in his body. He let out a high pitched whine to try to get Kuroo back into a sane state of mind but it only made it worse.

Kuroo had started scratching his back, trying to rip him off the omega. He reached around Tsukishima to attack the omega. His nails dig into flesh, blood fresh on his fingertips.

Finally, paramedics and officers came and they subdued Kuroo. They injected him with a sedative, making him slow his movements and finally stop his attack. The paramedics turned to Tsukishima and tried to get him off the omega. Tsukishima's body was rigid, his senses were going haywire. Everything seemed too much. He couldn't move. He needed to protect the omega, he needed his alpha.

With that thought, he felt something poke into his skin and his world swirled.

* * *

When he came to, he was met with a pure white ceiling. He looked around, it was dark outside, but the inside of the room was bright. Before he could observe other things in the room, someone came into the room, wearing a white uniform, name tag and badge on the left chest.

"Good morning Tsukishima-san. How are you feeling?" She was holding a clipboard and writing things down. She took a scanner and scanned the wristband he had on his left wrist.

"Sore."

"I'd expect it. To be bombarded with alpha and omega pheromones would make everyone go crazy." She gave him some pain killers and a cup of water, "You are lucky still standing blocking an alpha from an omega."

With that said, everything that happened came back to him. Kuroo! He needed to see Kuroo.

"The alpha. Where is he?"

"He is resting in another ward. Once he wakes up, he'll be fine to be discharged. You, however, suffered from multiple lacerations across your back, you were stitched up but still need to rest in the hospital for at least another five days. We want to make sure there's no risk of infection."

"When can I see Kuroo?"

"The alpha? Well, he can come during visiting hours." The nurse smiled at him sweetly.

"The omega? What happened to her?"

"She was sent to a heat room. She only had small lacerations thanks to you. So she can stake out her heat mostly out of pain."

"Thanks."

"No problem. If you need anything, press the yellow button by the bed." With that, the nurse left Tsukishima with his thoughts.

Kuroo had attacked him. To get to the omega. Kuroo said he would never hurt him. But that wasn't Kuroo. That was the alpha. The alpha did it. But the alpha was still Kuroo wasn't it? Kuroo had told him that his alpha wanted Tsukishima too. Did he lie?

No. Omega pheromones are just too strong to resist. If I could smell properly, I'd probably be in the same situation. I'm glad I'm not. Two alphas against a weakened omega. Alpha. He was an alpha. Right?

The two years they spent together, Kuroo had made sure Tsukishima knew that he was still an alpha. With or without instincts, he could still be a powerful alpha. Now he felt like he was never supposed to be one. He didn't want to be one. He wanted Kuroo. He begged Kuroo. Kuroo's alpha didn't care. Kuroo, the alpha, didn't care about Tsukishima, the alpha. All he wanted was the omega.

Tsukishima curled in on himself, feeling the pull of the stitches on his back. He rubbed his neck, imagining the feeling of Kuroo's bond mark. Right on his scent glands. If they had gotten mated sooner, this could have been avoided.

Now he did not know if he wanted to get mated anymore. Alphas are dominating, they take what they want. What they can't have, they forcefully snatch it away.

If Tsukishima couldn't have Kuroo, he didn't want anything.

~

It has been a week since Tsukishima had woken up, Kuroo still had not visited him. He was discharged and resting back at home.

His family had visited him in the hospital. They were worried when they were called saying that their son was attacked by an alpha, not knowing that the alpha was Kuroo.

"I'll kill that alpha that touched you." Akiteru was ranting about having no control, losing to instincts and attacking another alpha for an omega.

Akiteru realised how silent Tsukishima was and looked over, "Hey Kei, it's all right. No one will hurt you again."

Tsukishima was comforted by Akiteru's soothing caress of his head.

"Do you know who attacked you?"

Tsukishima nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Where's Kuroo? Does he know you've been attacked?"

When Tsukishima stayed silent, Akiteru realised his mistake. His little brother was hurt by the alpha that he was in love with. The alpha that charmed his whole family and had started courting his little brother when he was barely in college.   
  


Akiteru promised that Kuroo didn't mean it. He knew that both of them were crazy in love with each other. Although it was instinct, Kuroo would never hurt Kei on purpose. They just had to believe in the alpha.

Akiteru left Tsukishima when visiting hours ended. Promising that things will look up.

Tsukishima hated it. He hated the time that he spent dreaming about the alpha. It was obvious the alpha didn't care about him. His alpha didn't care. His alpha didn't want him.

These thoughts sent Tsukishima's mind into a frenzy and the doctors were called and he was sedated. On top of the painkillers and antibiotics, he was prescribed some antidepressants. They were the same ones that he had used back in middle school. They worked, sometimes.

The doctors were worried that he would have a drop. It was uncommon for alphas to have a drop, but it does happen. They reassured him that he was not unusual. Many people suffer from depression and eventually drops. They wanted him calm, to not tear at his stitches.

When he took them, he stopped thinking. He stopped being able to remember what he was sad about. When the effects wore off, his thoughts came back. He didn't want anything. He wanted to die.

On the third day, Kuroo came to visit him. He visibly perked up. He heard him before he saw him. Talking to a nurse. About him.

Kuroo, being briefed on Tsukishima's state physically and mentally.

Kuroo came in, standing in front of Tsukishima's bed. He bent 90 degrees and bowed his head, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Hearing Tsukishima's voice, Kuroo visibly relaxed, "I know what you're going to say. You want to leave. You decided you want an omega instead. I understand."

"No!" Kuroo got up and went to Tsukishima's side, holding tightly to his hand, "I don't want an omega. I'm sorry for attacking you. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my alpha away. I couldn't control it."

"No one can really control their instincts." Tears fell as Tsukishima talked, "I don't know why I feel so bad. You could have literally every omega out there. Why would you choose me? I'm broken. I'm damaged. You could do so much better than me. You can get someone who can please your alpha as well. I can't do that for you. You deserve someone better. You should just leave me. You don't need me."

"I need you Tsukki. My Tsukki. Please listen to me. Don't talk yourself into a drop, please. Listen to your alpha."

"You aren't my alpha! My alpha would have been here the first day I was awake! He would have come as soon as possible."

"I wanted to come, Tsukki. I really did."

"You didn't want me. You didn't want to see me after seeing that omega!"

"Kei. Look at me."

Tsukishima looked into Kuroo's eyes, there wasn't any hint of anger, only compassion and love. Tsukishima dropped his head and nodded. He felt the bed dip, another weight was added. He felt a touch at the back of his head and was brought to lean onto Kuroo's chest, with Kuroo's breath right at his ear.

"Listen. That day, I woke up and realised what I had done. I hurt you. I remember it. The smell of your blood on my hands. I didn't want to see how I've hurt you. I'm sorry. I wanted you to heal first, in case I lose control of myself and hurt you again. I didn't know that by not seeing you, I was hurting you in a different way. Please forgive me for that."

As Tsukishima listened, the calming voice of Kuroo tickling his ear, breathing down his neck brought another level of closeness to their conversation.

"I didn't understand. I went to talk to some people, mainly doctors. You know that evening, all that was in my mind was about you. When I smelled that omega, my alpha came out. He was trying to attack the omega for being so close to you. He wanted you to look at him. I wanted you to look at me. You had your eyes on the omega, helping the omega. I wanted to be the only one you look at. When I attacked, half my mind knew I hurt you, but I couldn't stop. You were so close to the omega, I just needed you. My alpha wanted to hurt the omega, but you protected her. I guess I just snapped.

I thought that you wanted the omega. I couldn't have that. If I couldn't have you, neither can the omega. That was the thought that went through my mind. I promise I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you so much, Kei. I love you. I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. Don't look at anyone else. Just look at me."

Tears fell onto Tsukishima's shoulder. Kuroo was crying. He made his alpha cry. He was sniffing. He was crying. Since when did he start to cry? Tsukishima let out a soft purr, letting Kuroo calm down.

"I'm sorry. I won't hurt you again. Be mine and only mine."

Tsukishima was Kuroo's. Kuroo was Tsukishima's. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writings' all over the place ^.^ 
> 
> tell me what you think of this!

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written an entire story in ages ... since my last upload ... :/   
> I hope I can continue all my other WIPs


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